Bill Hicks Forever

Live for the Moment Amen

     Do you know one of my favorite things about life? The chance to start over every single moment of every single day. It does not matter what I said, did, or even who I was yesterday or five minutes ago. I am who I am now, in this moment. I will not be negative. I will grab this opportunity and take it to the next logical step. I only have this moment, now, to continue my life in the direction I choose. Dogs taught me this. 
     It is easier for me to state this philosophy than to live it.  I can model my dog's live in the moment lifestyle for so long, but I am human, after all. I have my foibles.  I can't seem to forget a hurtful comment or an impatient brush aside the way my dog seems to, by shaking it off and licking my privates. The sting of rejection lingers, similar to a hangnail's peel. It will  sting me at the oddest of times, when I thought it had healed a few days back.  A whisper, a wink and it resurfaces, roaring pain in an instant and I am there again, small and insignificant, never on the inside and always wishing I could be for once. A giggling idiot, never knowing how to get the arguments out of my head and into another person's without looking silly. I was an easy target then with my head hanging down, even if I did have a smile on my face when I looked up. They didn't know and sometimes I still don't. I'm as surprised as anyone, really, when these feelings come out and then again I must have known, on some level. Damn gemini, doomed to uncertainty, both sides now, damn I hate coming to grips with that, but it does all come back to living in the moment, this moment and acceptance of myself in this moment and all others.
     We take the pieces of things we've experienced and who we were since birth and weave our nets, cast our patchy nets out into the waters, and see what we catch. I've caught things of all types, but lately I'm trying not to lump them into "good" things or "bad" things, but instead I'm trying to see each thing for what it actually is, because there is bad and good in everything. Acceptance is key. Live like a dog, smell it and move on. If it smells good, by all means linger, but don't make it your new religion. If it smells bad, pass by quickly, but remember the smell so you can avoid it faster the next time. Let us pray.
     Please God, help me to be more like a dog, investigating life for life's sake, instead of following blindly. Help me to take each day as it comes with dignity and grace, protect me from those who wish to see me falter, and help me to keep love in my heart for all people, including myself. Help me to see opportunities instead of stumbling blocks in my life and the lives of others. Keep me grounded in the infinite love of the universe at all times until I can come back to your loving arms once I am done here on earth. I pray for small moments of peace for every single person in the whole world, until we can all go home and have infinite peace together, forever. Amen.
     

My Rant

     I hate facebook - there I said it - and I hate people who love facebook.  If I call you up on the phone and you start telling me about your facebook page, or what so and so did on facebook, you are immediately "off my friend's list" in real fucking life.  Stop it.  If all you can discuss with other people is facebook, then go shut off your computer, open your door, and walk outside.  Say "hi world" and please don't tweet where you are and what you are doing either, because we do not care and we do not need to know.
     It's a world now where half-wits think that everyone cares about what they think. They're starting facebook pages, blogging, vlogging (blech, like I want to see a pasty fucker talking about life from his shitty studio apartment), and tweeting, any way to get their message out to the rest of humanity.  The only problem is that their message is, "I am a selfish retard."  I am truly sorry retards for using your word to describe these morons, but as Michael Scott on The Office said once, "You don't call retarded people retards, you call your friends retards when they're acting retarded." So "friends", just cut it out. Stupidity boils my blood and clearly that is not good for my health and well-being. I know it isn't just about me, but I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way. 
     I just want people to grow the fuck up and stop sharing all your dumb, personal shit online. I don't need to know "where you at", my day is going to go along just fine without that little nugget of information, thanks. I don't need your opinion on anything, okay? I've got plenty of those already. When I desperately need your opinion on American Idol or whatever stupid, useless shit you are contemplating, I'll let you know and I guarantee you that'll be never so shut your fucking mouth.
     I really don't care if you think I'm a "hater".  I guess I might be one, that is my fucking right as an American, okay? I'm certainly not your lover, so I guess the polar opposite of that is hater, go ahead and call me one.  I hate everything about you so yeah, I'm a hater, drinking blue hater-ade, planning a vacation to Haiti.  What you need to realize is that YOU don't matter.  Eons from now, or years, who knows, when another, better civilization finds remnants of us, they'll be left wondering what happened to humans on earth? Was is a blast of some sort, climate change, or was it in fact the haters that did them in? Hmmmm.  I theorize it was the haters, big problem in twenty-first century America - haters everywhere.
     Please stop spewing your personal diarrhea of the mouth and mind all over the internet. Find your own inner peace and stop regurgitating what other people think, think for yourself.  Don't say, "I hate haters", even if you do, like me. That makes you a hater. I say, love all the haters.  Love all the hate right outta them, squeeze em so hard that the hate comes shooting right out of their asses. Love overcomes all and that is my message, a message of love. Love all the haters, including yourself.

The Time-IN-One of my favorite concepts...

     As a dog trainer and a mother, I believe in positive reinforcement. For anyone who might not know what that is, I will break it down. You see a behavior you like and you praise it, whether it is behavior from a dog or a person.  Now this is not a technical definition, but MY definition of positive reinforcement. Everyone enjoys being told they are doing a good job, especially when it comes from someone you admire and trust. I use positive reinforcement in so many different ways every day and it works!  I even use it on myself sometimes! 
     I think the key with all praise, no matter who you are using it on, is your TIMING! You must praise when the behavior you want repeated is happening or RIGHT AFTER it has happened, within a few seconds for a dog, for people you have a slightly bigger window of opportunity for praise because we are able to make bigger connections to the consequences of our actions than dogs can. I try to make sure that my kids and my dog get several "time-ins" throughout the course of the day.
     What is a "time-in"? Well, it is when I notice that someone is doing something I like, maybe playing quietly, reading a book, chewing on a bone or appropriate toy, obviously I am mixing in dog and kid behaviors together here, but hopefully you get the point! When I see those types of wanted behaviors I make darn sure I go over and praise it! Praising behaviors makes them habits and good habits are a good thing!  If my kids are playing quietly I go over, give a hug and tell them how proud I am for playing nicely, maybe I will ask if I can join in for a few minutes.  If my dog is quietly chewing his toy I will go over and give some gentle pats and some quiet voice praise, "gooooood boy".  The whole point of this is to catch people and dogs doing good things.  I want to catch them doing good things and praise them MUCH more often than I have to reprimand. Praising = repeat behaviors, so it just makes so much sense to sit up and take notice of the good things, instead of always having to stop them from doing things you don't want them to do.  
     Focusing on the positive will make such a huge difference in so many aspects of your life and this is one small way to do that. I've found that if I can catch them being good often, they are much less likely to be naughty later! We all need a little guidance in life and it is our job as parents and dog moms and dads to teach them what they need to know. I like showing them what I want them to do, not telling them when they are doing something wrong, although I do that when I need to as well. When it comes to dogs, especially puppies who are in the early stages of training, I praise a LOT. I will even wake a puppy up from a nap to praise him for choosing to go lay quietly, clients are always shocked when I say that, they think why would I wake him up when he finally went to sleep but I believe in it! Dogs do what works for them and letting your dog know you like a behavior will only increase the chances of it happening again. Don't wake up human babies, though, different species, different needs in that regard! I also want to make it clear that I don't just praise everything willy-nilly. I choose my times to praise carefully, making sure the behavior is something I really want to see again. If you just say good dog or good kid ALL the time it is going to lose its power, so when you do praise, do it in a meaningful way, using rewards that your kids and dogs enjoy, so that it is meaningful to THEM. That is a tool you can use to make your life easier so use it wisely. Give your kids and/or your dogs a time-in today instead of a time-out. The behavior you praise will come back to haunt you, in a good way! 

Go for a smell walk...

     Anyone who has spent any amount of time in a dog training class knows a bit about heeling.  It is usually one of the fundamental exercises that clients want their dogs to learn. It is a useful command in so many situations and it really does help you to gain control over your walk, so that you walk at YOUR pace and not at your dog's pace. 
     Now forget what you learned in class and take your dog on a smell walk.  What is a smell walk, you might ask? Well, it is a walk in which you let your dog lead YOU.  Let him take you where the smells lead him, whatever direction he chooses (within reason, obviously you're not going to let him lead you into traffic, a patch of poison ivy, or into the creek, unless you want to).  But wait, you may ask, what about all the effort I've put into training my dog to heel?  Won't letting him rule the walk undo all my hard work? If you do it right, no, it won't.  You're still going to practice your heeling and you will do it much more often than you do your smell walks, therefore you shouldn't lose any ground with your training. Even soldiers don't always walk in formation! These smell walks are all about knowing your dog. They are a break for both of you. See if you can predict what he'll like to smell.  See if you can predict which direction he takes, does he stick to your usual walking route, or is there another way that he'd like to go today?  So much of dog training your personal dog comes back to your relationship and exercises like this build that relationship in a positive way. 
     Remember, NO PULLING! That works both ways. Don't pull on your dog and do not allow him to pull you. This is about working together, not getting yanked around! If your dog is pulling, stop until he notices you. Once the leash is slack again, you may continue walking. If you are consistent with this, stop when the dog pulls, continue when the leash is slack, your dog will pick up on it in no time, but consistency is key. If you allow your dog to pull you once, he will pull you again and again and again, ad infinitum. So get out there and let your dog check his pee-mail and have some fun bonding!