As a dog trainer and a mother, I believe in positive reinforcement. For anyone who might not know what that is, I will break it down. You see a behavior you like and you praise it, whether it is behavior from a dog or a person. Now this is not a technical definition, but MY definition of positive reinforcement. Everyone enjoys being told they are doing a good job, especially when it comes from someone you admire and trust. I use positive reinforcement in so many different ways every day and it works! I even use it on myself sometimes!
I think the key with all praise, no matter who you are using it on, is your TIMING! You must praise when the behavior you want repeated is happening or RIGHT AFTER it has happened, within a few seconds for a dog, for people you have a slightly bigger window of opportunity for praise because we are able to make bigger connections to the consequences of our actions than dogs can. I try to make sure that my kids and my dog get several "time-ins" throughout the course of the day.
What is a "time-in"? Well, it is when I notice that someone is doing something I like, maybe playing quietly, reading a book, chewing on a bone or appropriate toy, obviously I am mixing in dog and kid behaviors together here, but hopefully you get the point! When I see those types of wanted behaviors I make darn sure I go over and praise it! Praising behaviors makes them habits and good habits are a good thing! If my kids are playing quietly I go over, give a hug and tell them how proud I am for playing nicely, maybe I will ask if I can join in for a few minutes. If my dog is quietly chewing his toy I will go over and give some gentle pats and some quiet voice praise, "gooooood boy". The whole point of this is to catch people and dogs doing good things. I want to catch them doing good things and praise them MUCH more often than I have to reprimand. Praising = repeat behaviors, so it just makes so much sense to sit up and take notice of the good things, instead of always having to stop them from doing things you don't want them to do.
Focusing on the positive will make such a huge difference in so many aspects of your life and this is one small way to do that. I've found that if I can catch them being good often, they are much less likely to be naughty later! We all need a little guidance in life and it is our job as parents and dog moms and dads to teach them what they need to know. I like showing them what I want them to do, not telling them when they are doing something wrong, although I do that when I need to as well. When it comes to dogs, especially puppies who are in the early stages of training, I praise a LOT. I will even wake a puppy up from a nap to praise him for choosing to go lay quietly, clients are always shocked when I say that, they think why would I wake him up when he finally went to sleep but I believe in it! Dogs do what works for them and letting your dog know you like a behavior will only increase the chances of it happening again. Don't wake up human babies, though, different species, different needs in that regard! I also want to make it clear that I don't just praise everything willy-nilly. I choose my times to praise carefully, making sure the behavior is something I really want to see again. If you just say good dog or good kid ALL the time it is going to lose its power, so when you do praise, do it in a meaningful way, using rewards that your kids and dogs enjoy, so that it is meaningful to THEM. That is a tool you can use to make your life easier so use it wisely. Give your kids and/or your dogs a time-in today instead of a time-out. The behavior you praise will come back to haunt you, in a good way!
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