Disclaimer: I have never bought a Maroon 5 album or seen them live, although I've heard from multiple sources that they put on quite a great show. They are not my cup of tea as far as music goes, if I heard them on the radio I might hum along if the mood was right, but I just wanted to get it out there that I am not really a fan of Adam Levine's any more than I am a fan of the guy I see at Dunkin's getting a coffee. He's just there, that is fine with me, all is right with the world, well not really, but I just don't have time to get into that right now, back to the topic at hand.
Adam Levine said "I hate this country" during an elimination on The Voice. I watched the clip and I totally missed it the first time and if it hadn't been for the website stating what time on the clip he uttered it, I might not have been able to find it. He said it really quietly, to himself, he just happened to be miked for the show.
Of course people are completely up in arms about this. All the pinheads have come out in full force to complain about how they are offended. Doesn't anyone fucking remember what this country is supposed to be about? It is about freedom. Adam Levine is allowed to hate this country sometimes if he wants to and every single one of us has the right to feel that way, too. Don't get me wrong, there is NO PLACE else I would rather live than right here in the U.S.of A, but somewhere along the line a lot of people have forgotten the point of how this country was founded. We can say things like that because we live HERE and our country has laws based on freedom of speech. Adam shouldn't have to be worried about his livelihood just because of a quiet aside he said in disappointment and frustration on a fucking TV show. I, for one, plan on supporting the fucking guy and buying something of his (an album, t-shirt, I gotta do some research on what he has available) just to say, this is still a FREE country (if you have money RIP Bill Hicks)and we are not puppets! We can do, say, feel whatever we like as long as we are not breaking any of our country's laws or for me personally hurting anyone in the process. It makes me really sad to think that people only talk about open mindedness and freedom, but are so quick to eviscerate a public figure who might say something beyond the mainstream.
Adam should not have to apologize. Keep moving, move through the processing plant everyone. We all will have the same grain and the same thoughts. Everyone needs to think for themselves and stop just assimilating and regurgitating everything that the media is feeding you, because guess what? This is not news. Stop creating drama, focus on what is really important and let's all get on with our lives, shall we?
Now Prancercising, that IS news, and if you watch the clip on HLNtv.com you can make your own decision whether or not Mike Galanos is gay, not that there's anything wrong with that in my book mind you, it is just something I've personally been wondering about for a while now. Love you Mike, but what is with that grin while prancercising? You really embraced the "elation" aspect of this exercise craze, my friend. Whatever makes the elation come forth, right? And that freedom is one of the many great things about living in this country.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
A little story for my birthday...
On the occasion of my thirty fifth birthday today, I wanted to share a little story. All I can be is myself because I never really learned how to be anything else. I half paid attention, but I certainly did gloss. How I glossed! Wheels spinning, papers riffling, ready to battle if only a cause. Or a casue. Spell check that, bitch. I don't even care. This is me now. I do this don't do that don't care. Riffling, riffing, ranting, panting, why did I do that? Plenty of time, but who knows when?
What. Just happened.
Working behind a cash register in a retail pet store chain, two customers, a woman and a man, presumably married, I'm sure of it, approach me.
Me:(herein referred to as me) "Hey, how are you doing today?"
Woman:(herein referred to as AH, stands for asshole, obviously)"Great, great!(licking lips and teeth)Just went to the dentist and my teeth feel really clean!"
At this point we make eye contact and I smile at her and say something like, oh yeah, after the dentist mouth is the best! She is looking at my mouth in a puzzled manner, accompanied by a palsy-like shaking of her head.
AH: What is that in your mouth?
Me: Um, nothing...
AH: Do you have your tongue pierced?
Me: ah, yeah I do
AH: Can I see it?
Me: Well, em, no I'd rather not...
AH: Oh come on, let me see it!
Me: Well, ok, I guess (I begrudgingly stick out my tongue just enough for her to see and she interrupts with,
AH: OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS!!!!!
Really, really, really loudly.
I could not get my tongue in my mouth fast enough and I said, quietly,
Me: Ok, your total is $26.78.
I absolutely hated that job. I am so thankful I don't have to do that anymore. The next time my children are giving me some bullshit I am going to remember this story and give them a little bit of slack. I am so happy that I only have to put with my children's (and husband's) bullshit and that I don't have to take it from strangers anymore. The only hole in that theory is that I actually got paid real money to put up with strangers' bullshit. I don't get paid shit to put up with my kids'. The husband makes all the actual money around here at this point so he is completely off the hook, for now.
Every time I go shopping, to a doctor's office, a meeting, anywhere there is a necessary interaction with another human being I look them in the eye and treat them with friendly respect. I pride myself on that and I am raising my children to be this way, too. I want respect back in this country, real respect which starts with being kinder to each other. Let's start treating people the way we want to be treated. Stop giving each other the hairy eyeball everywhere we go, okay? Stop looking people up and down and putting on your judging jeans. How about instead of looking someone up and down you look them in the face, say hi and then give a quick smile? It works wonders and if they don't smile back who gives a fuck? It feels really good to smile and that smile just did YOU good. You could even get a sick sense of satisfaction knowing that you may have really confused that person. "Why is she smiling at me? Do I have food on my face? Was she making fun of me?"
Yes. Yes, I was, you ignorant, self-centered bitch. Let them think whatever they want, because you are allowed to do that, too. Fuck em. Just be nice. Isn't that what this is all about? Yeah, let us all be nice or leave each other the fuck alone. End of story.
What. Just happened.
Working behind a cash register in a retail pet store chain, two customers, a woman and a man, presumably married, I'm sure of it, approach me.
Me:(herein referred to as me) "Hey, how are you doing today?"
Woman:(herein referred to as AH, stands for asshole, obviously)"Great, great!(licking lips and teeth)Just went to the dentist and my teeth feel really clean!"
At this point we make eye contact and I smile at her and say something like, oh yeah, after the dentist mouth is the best! She is looking at my mouth in a puzzled manner, accompanied by a palsy-like shaking of her head.
AH: What is that in your mouth?
Me: Um, nothing...
AH: Do you have your tongue pierced?
Me: ah, yeah I do
AH: Can I see it?
Me: Well, em, no I'd rather not...
AH: Oh come on, let me see it!
Me: Well, ok, I guess (I begrudgingly stick out my tongue just enough for her to see and she interrupts with,
AH: OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS!!!!!
Really, really, really loudly.
I could not get my tongue in my mouth fast enough and I said, quietly,
Me: Ok, your total is $26.78.
I absolutely hated that job. I am so thankful I don't have to do that anymore. The next time my children are giving me some bullshit I am going to remember this story and give them a little bit of slack. I am so happy that I only have to put with my children's (and husband's) bullshit and that I don't have to take it from strangers anymore. The only hole in that theory is that I actually got paid real money to put up with strangers' bullshit. I don't get paid shit to put up with my kids'. The husband makes all the actual money around here at this point so he is completely off the hook, for now.
Every time I go shopping, to a doctor's office, a meeting, anywhere there is a necessary interaction with another human being I look them in the eye and treat them with friendly respect. I pride myself on that and I am raising my children to be this way, too. I want respect back in this country, real respect which starts with being kinder to each other. Let's start treating people the way we want to be treated. Stop giving each other the hairy eyeball everywhere we go, okay? Stop looking people up and down and putting on your judging jeans. How about instead of looking someone up and down you look them in the face, say hi and then give a quick smile? It works wonders and if they don't smile back who gives a fuck? It feels really good to smile and that smile just did YOU good. You could even get a sick sense of satisfaction knowing that you may have really confused that person. "Why is she smiling at me? Do I have food on my face? Was she making fun of me?"
Yes. Yes, I was, you ignorant, self-centered bitch. Let them think whatever they want, because you are allowed to do that, too. Fuck em. Just be nice. Isn't that what this is all about? Yeah, let us all be nice or leave each other the fuck alone. End of story.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Playtime
Now that the weather is really warming up here in the Northeast, the kids, the dog, and I have been enjoying being outside. My children are 5 and 2 3/4 years old and girls. They have a new obsession with picking dandelions and bringing them inside to put in vases. We try to spend some time outside every day, weather permitting of course.
My dog is an English setter, male, 14 years old, but still quite spry for his age. He is crazy about birds and squirrels, not interested at all in balls or fetch toys. I always have envied the lab , pit, or what-have-you mixed breed dogs that live to play fetch with a ball. You always have something to motivate the dog if you have a ball in your hand. With a birdie dog like Gemi, balls were insignificant and therefore useless to me in training.
Inside the house he does play with plushy toys, simply because I taught him how years ago. When I first acquired this dog he did not play at all, he didn't know how. So I set out to teach him by finding toys that looked like birds and squirrels (feathers and fur) and presenting them to him in an exciting way. Basically I acted like I thought the toy was *the best thing ever* and kept running away from him with it until I caught his interest and then we built on the play behavior from there. Now he will randomly grab a plushy and hold it in his mouth, try to kill it and shake it, and sometimes even toss it up in the air to himself.
My dog is an English setter, male, 14 years old, but still quite spry for his age. He is crazy about birds and squirrels, not interested at all in balls or fetch toys. I always have envied the lab , pit, or what-have-you mixed breed dogs that live to play fetch with a ball. You always have something to motivate the dog if you have a ball in your hand. With a birdie dog like Gemi, balls were insignificant and therefore useless to me in training.
Inside the house he does play with plushy toys, simply because I taught him how years ago. When I first acquired this dog he did not play at all, he didn't know how. So I set out to teach him by finding toys that looked like birds and squirrels (feathers and fur) and presenting them to him in an exciting way. Basically I acted like I thought the toy was *the best thing ever* and kept running away from him with it until I caught his interest and then we built on the play behavior from there. Now he will randomly grab a plushy and hold it in his mouth, try to kill it and shake it, and sometimes even toss it up in the air to himself.
Playtime for dogs is so important. It is a way for them to release pent up energy and enjoy themselves. You should always provide your dog with a variety of different types of toys, but not too many at once. I recommend having several out at once and then a basket of other toys in the closet. That way you can switch out a few of the toys every week or so to keep your dog's interest. It's amazing to see how excited they get about an old dingy toy when they haven't seen it in a few weeks.
Also if you get excited about something, chances are your dog will, too. Keep this in mind when you play together. Something as boring as a stick becomes gold when you act excited and try to keep it away from your dog! Good luck trying to get him to forget about it after that! Playing equals bonding and bonding with your dog will enhance your relationship in so many ways, duh, right? Take some time today to play with your dog, but end the play session while he still wants more, that way you are building up his interest in you. You want your dog to see you as fun and exciting, he needs to keep his eyes on you because he never knows when you will produce something amazing! Have fun playing with your dog and consider yourself lucky if you can get your dog to play with you outside, since there are many more distractions. Unfortunately, my dog still will not play with me when we are outside and I have given up trying to cajole him into it. If there are birds and squirrels, I cannot compete and that's okay.
My dog is an individual, even though he may not always take me up on my offers to play, he is always willing to follow my lead and he is never a real problem, anymore anyway! Maybe I just cut him so much slack because he is fourteen years old now, as I said, and I know that our time together is winding down. Either way, I'm sure happy we have our time together, all of us as a family and I know that as long as we are together, fun will ensue.
My dog is an individual, even though he may not always take me up on my offers to play, he is always willing to follow my lead and he is never a real problem, anymore anyway! Maybe I just cut him so much slack because he is fourteen years old now, as I said, and I know that our time together is winding down. Either way, I'm sure happy we have our time together, all of us as a family and I know that as long as we are together, fun will ensue.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Who is Training Who?
When my dog wants something, he sits. It is such a polite way to ask for something and completely silent as well, which is interesting because really he is not "asking" me in words, but making a request for something, usually a trip outside or a tidbit of food. In my opinion, this is the correct way for a dog to make a request. I do not appreciate being nosed, pawed, or barked at in my own home. When I am at other people's homes what they do with their dog is their business and I am much more lenient. I do not live there and I don't have to deal with their dog's foolishness on a regular, so what do I care? BUT, if you do not like a dog's behavior, DON'T accidentally reinforce it! This is one of the biggest lessons that humans who live with dogs can learn. You are training your dog all the time, intentionally or unintentionally.
When your dog barks at you and you open the door and let him out, what did you both learn? Your dog learned that barking equals getting what he wants, you learned that giving the dog what he wants stops the barking! Do you want him to bark every time before he goes out? If the answer is yes, than please open the door and let that guy out, but if the answer if no, then hold on. Dogs do what works for them. If barking produces the dog's desired result then they will continue to bark. If barking doesn't reward them, then over time and with the proper reinforcement the barking will ease up. This does not solve long term, ingrained, barking problems overnight, but by thinking about how you reinforce your dog's behavior, you can start to shape that into behaviors that you prefer, rather than annoying behaviors that drive you crazy, such as barking.
Start small and keep it fun. When your dog is doing something you like, such as choosing to chew his own toy or lying down on his own doggie bed, give him some praise at that exact moment. Behaviors that you praise are going to happen again, because dogs love praise! Just a quick "goooood" in a happy voice and a scratch behind the ears is all it takes! You know your dog best, so you know what he likes (hopefully) and that is what you should use to praise him. Practice praising your dog's good behavior often. I try to praise at least 75% more than I correct. Show the dog what you like in a way that he likes and he will do it!
Just try it and see. I'll talk more about corrections on another day, but for right now I want everyone to think about praise. Find opportunities to praise your dog and watch how you shape his behavior! This also works on kids! Happy Training!
When your dog barks at you and you open the door and let him out, what did you both learn? Your dog learned that barking equals getting what he wants, you learned that giving the dog what he wants stops the barking! Do you want him to bark every time before he goes out? If the answer is yes, than please open the door and let that guy out, but if the answer if no, then hold on. Dogs do what works for them. If barking produces the dog's desired result then they will continue to bark. If barking doesn't reward them, then over time and with the proper reinforcement the barking will ease up. This does not solve long term, ingrained, barking problems overnight, but by thinking about how you reinforce your dog's behavior, you can start to shape that into behaviors that you prefer, rather than annoying behaviors that drive you crazy, such as barking.
Start small and keep it fun. When your dog is doing something you like, such as choosing to chew his own toy or lying down on his own doggie bed, give him some praise at that exact moment. Behaviors that you praise are going to happen again, because dogs love praise! Just a quick "goooood" in a happy voice and a scratch behind the ears is all it takes! You know your dog best, so you know what he likes (hopefully) and that is what you should use to praise him. Practice praising your dog's good behavior often. I try to praise at least 75% more than I correct. Show the dog what you like in a way that he likes and he will do it!
Just try it and see. I'll talk more about corrections on another day, but for right now I want everyone to think about praise. Find opportunities to praise your dog and watch how you shape his behavior! This also works on kids! Happy Training!
Kids Vs Dogs part 1
I love my two children and my dog, but not equally. Before my kids were born, my dog was my baby. I would actually introduce him that way. Oh hi, this is my baby, Gemini, he is an English setter, NOT a long haired dalmatian! Once I actually had a human baby, my dog morphed from my baby to an actual dog again. Wow, the power of perspective! I still love my dog dearly, he has just shifted slightly in the hierarchy of my family. Don't judge me because my position has shifted too. I used to be number one, now I come last, after the dog! I wanted to explore kids vs dogs, not to see who is better, but to see who I love more.
Okay, the dog wins, he is the quietest.
Monday, May 13, 2013
first post
Here we go. I've started a new section of my life. I call it a section because calling it a chapter just wouldn't do it justice. I quit smoking on March 10, 2013. I have not had one puff off of a cig since. I am feeling more like myself than I have in the last nineteen years. I started blogging on becomeanex.org and it felt like coming home. I decided, ok, I have got to start a blog about my life in general because blogging about my quitting smoking progress has been so cathartic, I thought, imagine what it could do for the rest of my life?
So I don't know if anyone will ever read this other than me, but get ready for some stone cold, soul searching mixed with a peppering of humor and a dash of humility. Quitting smoking has made me realize that I have a lot to share with the world. I thought I was definitely going to die of cancer and the chances of that are going down every day so instead I've decided to get myself out there and see what becomes of it. I am ready to take on whatever the world throws at me. RRRAWR.
So I don't know if anyone will ever read this other than me, but get ready for some stone cold, soul searching mixed with a peppering of humor and a dash of humility. Quitting smoking has made me realize that I have a lot to share with the world. I thought I was definitely going to die of cancer and the chances of that are going down every day so instead I've decided to get myself out there and see what becomes of it. I am ready to take on whatever the world throws at me. RRRAWR.
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