On the occasion of my thirty fifth birthday today, I wanted to share a little story. All I can be is myself because I never really learned how to be anything else. I half paid attention, but I certainly did gloss. How I glossed! Wheels spinning, papers riffling, ready to battle if only a cause. Or a casue. Spell check that, bitch. I don't even care. This is me now. I do this don't do that don't care. Riffling, riffing, ranting, panting, why did I do that? Plenty of time, but who knows when?
What. Just happened.
Working behind a cash register in a retail pet store chain, two customers, a woman and a man, presumably married, I'm sure of it, approach me.
Me:(herein referred to as me) "Hey, how are you doing today?"
Woman:(herein referred to as AH, stands for asshole, obviously)"Great, great!(licking lips and teeth)Just went to the dentist and my teeth feel really clean!"
At this point we make eye contact and I smile at her and say something like, oh yeah, after the dentist mouth is the best! She is looking at my mouth in a puzzled manner, accompanied by a palsy-like shaking of her head.
AH: What is that in your mouth?
Me: Um, nothing...
AH: Do you have your tongue pierced?
Me: ah, yeah I do
AH: Can I see it?
Me: Well, em, no I'd rather not...
AH: Oh come on, let me see it!
Me: Well, ok, I guess (I begrudgingly stick out my tongue just enough for her to see and she interrupts with,
AH: OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS!!!!!
Really, really, really loudly.
I could not get my tongue in my mouth fast enough and I said, quietly,
Me: Ok, your total is $26.78.
I absolutely hated that job. I am so thankful I don't have to do that anymore. The next time my children are giving me some bullshit I am going to remember this story and give them a little bit of slack. I am so happy that I only have to put with my children's (and husband's) bullshit and that I don't have to take it from strangers anymore. The only hole in that theory is that I actually got paid real money to put up with strangers' bullshit. I don't get paid shit to put up with my kids'. The husband makes all the actual money around here at this point so he is completely off the hook, for now.
Every time I go shopping, to a doctor's office, a meeting, anywhere there is a necessary interaction with another human being I look them in the eye and treat them with friendly respect. I pride myself on that and I am raising my children to be this way, too. I want respect back in this country, real respect which starts with being kinder to each other. Let's start treating people the way we want to be treated. Stop giving each other the hairy eyeball everywhere we go, okay? Stop looking people up and down and putting on your judging jeans. How about instead of looking someone up and down you look them in the face, say hi and then give a quick smile? It works wonders and if they don't smile back who gives a fuck? It feels really good to smile and that smile just did YOU good. You could even get a sick sense of satisfaction knowing that you may have really confused that person. "Why is she smiling at me? Do I have food on my face? Was she making fun of me?"
Yes. Yes, I was, you ignorant, self-centered bitch. Let them think whatever they want, because you are allowed to do that, too. Fuck em. Just be nice. Isn't that what this is all about? Yeah, let us all be nice or leave each other the fuck alone. End of story.
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