Alarm Bells

¹alarm

 noun \ə-ˈlärm\

: a device that makes a loud sound as a warning or signal

: a feeling of fear caused by a sudden sense of danger

: a warning of danger

What is the point of having an alarm if no one responds to it? I'm just wondering. I am responding to my own sense of alarm, but I am not sure what to do about it, so I suppose I'll just wait it out and do nothing instead. I'll wait for whatever the alarm was supposed to warn me about to happen and then clean up the mess after the fact. Kind of makes the alarm itself irrelevant, doesn't it? I mean if I'm reacting the same way now as I would when the alarm goes off, then what is the alarm really for? To scare others away or to "alarm" me to the fact that someone is trying to get in? 

I think when an alarm goes off, someone should respond, whether it be the police, fire fighters, EMTs, I mean, whoever the alarm is relevant to in that particular situation. If the alarm goes off and no one responds then that was not an alarm, it was an anti-alarm. I am anti-responding. I guess my point is, let's stop making alarms over nothing. OR let's make a promise to respond if something is important, but we really need to decide what is important first. Either way a discussion is in order and I personally would rather not open that particular can of worms. Maybe that is why no one is responding, we don't want to talk about it and therefore nothing will get done about it. No, wait, that's just my life. Never mind.

    Until I decide to make big changes, those alarms will just keep on going off and I can't say a word about it. Because if I'm not a part of the solution, then I suppose I must be a part of the problem. Although using logic in complicated relationships is a little boxy and gives me a squeamish feeling. I rarely fit in any one box and I doubt you do either. My feet or my heart always end up sticking out the side. I don't fold neatly into a square, or a triangle, or a fucking circle either. I am many shapes all at once and until you get that, talking about it is useless. I can't be your excuse camouflaged as a reason. I won't let you hold me there, because I learned a long time ago (last year) that I really am important, even if only to me. I finally started living for what I want, instead of what I think I'm supposed to want for everyone else. This freedom tastes too sweet to relinquish, even if you do sugarcoat my prison cell. You know how much I love sweets! But no. I finally care about myself and all your tantrums and bad behavior won't stop that. This train is a rolling down the line and you can hop on board or get the fuck outta the way. Love me or leave me alone. And maybe the next time I hear those alarm bells ring I won't just sit there stupidly and ask, "what are those alarms for?"

I will act upon them, the way alarms were meant to be used. So get ready.